I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
