threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
