Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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