Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
