I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
