i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
