Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
