Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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