I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
