we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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