Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
