It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
