found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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