there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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