she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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