Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
