she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
