If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
