Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
