Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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