I just cut my nipple shaving
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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