69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
