I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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