Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
