Betty ford says i'm here all night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
