i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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