People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
