There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My vagina just recognized that song.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
