Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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