the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
