I'm really into asian looking animals
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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