quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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