dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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