thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
