I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
