From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
