Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
