I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
