she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
