my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
