Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's rum buckets o'clock
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
