I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
