I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
