i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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