i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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