I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
