You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
