I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
