In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
