Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
