i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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