I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
