ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
