My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
