Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
someone owes me an orgasm
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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