It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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