Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
honey bunches of taint.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize