why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
