hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
