id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize