You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
