I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
