We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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