had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she told me i tasted like america
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize