I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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