Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
